To: Samchak Darvejeran From: Moriyama Takehiko email@example.com
How you doin little bro? I bet you’ve been expecting this mail to come. Doubt you’ve been lookin forward to it, neither.
I know you remember how Junki from Kobe started to get excited when some of his Thai associates began spreading lies about you having outstanding debts. I also know you remember who it was that encouraged Junki to see reason.
Before I get all teary – eyed from the reminiscing, I’m gonna jump to the end of the story. We’re calling in the favour. No need to panic kid brother, I’ve always had a soft spot for you – you’re my favourite civilian. So I’ve got you a cakewalk.
An associate of mine in Osaka has a friend in a Tourist company. You see, it’s all legit. Well this company likes digging old stuff up for the tourists – and they reckon they’ve found something good I in Hiroshima. They’re draggin some old fart over from Europe so he can dig up whatever old shit it is they’ve found, y’know, so they can lay stakes on it for tours or whatever.
So the old fuck is foreign, and recently foreigners haven’t been so popular in downtown Hiroshima for some reason. You heard about that white girl? Shit son, I couldn’t eat yaki-niku for a week. Anyways, this company got all nervous, and asked my associate in Osaka for reassurance. They specifically don’t want too much muscle though – guess that a tourist company aint too keen on advertising the fact that you’re gonna need an armed guard to be white in that town. So I think to myself, where can I find reassurance, without muscle? Well, don’t take it the wrong way, but that’s you son.
I’m sure nothing’ll kick off. I heared you’ll have one more man babysitting granddad anyway. You’ll be a ‘supporting personelle’, hired by the Tourist company and everything. You even get to stay in a cushy hotel – I’m too nice to you kid. The tickets to Hiroshima are in the mail. Some bird from the company, Yukiko, will be there to pick you up. She’s a civilian, so you can get her drunk, fuck her, whatever.
Like I said, a cakewalk.
To: Derik van Veldeke From: Ellen McLarney firstname.lastname@example.org
You know that I respect you very much as a colleague but, really, this has to stop. Everyone in the department is in agreement. On top of obsessing over those insufferable stone idols, your rumoured searches for your daughter are sending ripples through the student body.
We all believe that you are in need of a break. Now I am not insensitive to the damage an unexplained leave of absence could do your career. So I have come up with a solution that I believe will be more than acceptable to you, and to the board of academic review that you would do well to fear a little more than you appear to.
You have remained incorrigibly insistent that an opportunity to return to Asia would allow you to finally prove your theories true. As you know, the usual academic routes remain, to you, firmly closed. There remains, however, another option. A smallish Japanese tour operator, Thompson, believe they have stumbled across a makeshift mass-grave in Hiroshima, apparently co-operatively made by survivors of the atom bomb, with no official guidance. – An interesting story there, as although the Japanese infrastructure was facing collapse, this site would provide a very rare instance of spontaneous civilian proto-religious organisation during the war – anyway – I’ll leave the preliminary reading to you, shall I?
So it is a commercial concern, not an academic one. It is not the century you are interested in. Nor is it the right corner of Asia. But by God man, it’s a paid holiday. Get yourself down there, do some sight-seeing, even look for your damned idols if you feel so inclined.
If you can bury some demons out there, then go to it, old bean!
To: Jack Mayer From: David Mears email@example.com
How’s your head dude? Lol you were hitting the Jagermeister pretty hard last night. In case you don’t remember, you were bitching about how you never see action nowadays. Not that we get any action in the force these days but… anyway, the guy I was telling you about? Apparently he does need a security guard, and when I told him how tight we were, he agreed to hire you on the spot! So yeah, it’s for some tourist company up in Hiroshima – it’s been pretty rough up there recently.
You might finally get to kick some ass, dude!